Two sides to hello: privacy and pain

If you meet a stranger, do you say hello? Should you say hello? Well, yes and no. Maybe. It depends.

BBC’s The Quora Column (June 15, 2014) advises against talking to strangers when travelling on the London Underground rail system. The Quora readers wrote, “Don’t talk to a stranger, except about how bad something is or about the weather” and “Avoiding eye contact is the only way to preserve your sense of personal space.”

But CNN’s Dr Sanjay Gupta thinks just saying hello can extend your life (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NpEVheoTMc). Gupta says studies on “being lonely” – chronic loneliness – is on par with the act of smoking in terms of risks to people’s health. “Loneliness can register as physical pain,” he says, and maintains the act of saying hello [to break the loneliness cycle] can be “empowering” and may bring health benefits.

This is not new – there have been studies on pessimism and optimism in the past, which state that optimists are more likely to say hello to strangers to connect with them, even if exceptionally briefly and temporarily, and even if they get no response in return. Often it takes the stranger by surprise, although they may smile in response – not broadly, but slightly or even “internally” or after the event.

Pessimists – those who are negatively inclined (sometimes called negativists) – are said to suffer more depression and other illnesses than optimists (or positivists). Optimists are said to be more positive about life – it doesn’t need to be everyday, but overall in their dealings with others. The science is still not definitive, but it seems that being optimistic enables people to cope better with stressful situations – by being more hopeful that eventually “things will be better.” Hence, optimists are said to be overall happier than pessimists, more productive in life, and more inclined to setting goals and dreams – and in pursuing them. The Mayo Clinic in the United States reported on a correlation between hopeful thinking and reduced stress. Hopeful people tend to have lower incidences of heart disease and depression.

If saying hello makes the giver feel good, maybe the receiver will feel good too, and thereby gain health benefits as well, if not in a return hello, then in thinking that someone has taken a nano-second out of their day to be positive and approachable. And maybe positivism will catch on – for good health.